Love can happen anywhere and at any time in the world as well as in the office. And in some cases, you may find yourself falling in love with your superior or boss even before you comprehend it. In fact, at times for one to get a job in South Africa, they first have to date the supervisor or manager.
And of course, you get the whole day to spend working together inside the same office cabin. Moreover, since both have the same type of work, it means communication and understanding is quite easy to handle since your interests and likings in life are similar.
Therefore, both of you might feel infatuated towards each other. Therefore, find out what you are getting into before you decide to take the relationship forward.
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Here are some tips to date your boss without damaging your career.
Golden Rules to Date Your Boss in the Workplace:
1. KNOW WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE:
The modern hectic lifestyle could be the reason why many people fall in love with their office colleagues or even bosses. Another reason for the same could be the increasing number of hours people are spending in office. Stepping the hierarchy and getting involved emotionally with a senior is your personal choice. But you need to understand the pros and cons of this bond before you get involved.
You also need to understand how the management may react to such situations. You need to understand that your career is far more important than a new relationship. So before you get too close with your boss, see how the company will handle it.
Some organizations have a very narrow-minded attitude towards such relationships. They believe that such intimacy may affect your professional performance and sincerity to the organization adversely. Being cautious can help in such situations. Your partner may also be holding a responsible position in the firm or organization. You must understand this fact and make sure your actions do not defame your firm or your love.
2. KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF A BREAKUP:
No one thinks of a breakup when they enter a relationship. Yet, when you are personally involved with your boss, such preparedness can prove extremely useful.
Have an agreement or come up with a backup plan on what you will do before you break up. In any romantic relationship, there is always a chance of breakup. When you break up with your boss, it may impact your career prospects eventually and cause a lot of harm.
It is thus better to discuss such facts with your partner and decide how you plan to deal with a breakup if it happens in future. It would be even better to have a written agreement stating the facts so that it does not harm your career. It will be good not just for you but also for your boss.
3. THINK WISELY AND DISCLOSE LESS:
Usually, it is wise to be quiet about your relationship in professional circles and stay mum regarding when gossip mongers seek information to defame you. You must remember that if you spill the beans about the bond to one person, it may spread like wildfire.
It is possible that all your workmates may ultimately come to know about it. Even if you decide to disclose your relationship, don’t let it have an impact on your professional performance in any situations.
People around you will observe you keenly for any concessions from the management too. Don’t ever expect that you can speak personal matters with your boss/boyfriend without all coworkers trying to listen in to see if it is personal.
4. KEEP A HOLD ON YOUR DESIRES:
It might be difficult to sustain a professional attitude at office once you are romantically inclined to your seniors. This is more so when you reside in cities and are spending a substantial amount of your time together at office.
It is true that you are close intimately but that should not reflect in the way you deal with your partner at office.
While working in an organization, you need to consider the feelings and thoughts or people around you. You may yearn to get intimate but you need to have a perfect control over your feelings. You must avoid doing anything that makes people in the office uncomfortable or distracts them. Take time out together and fulfill your desires but when in the professional circles, maintain your limits.
5. MAINTAIN YOUR OFFICE PERFORMANCE:
If your boss has a ‘soft corner’ for you, you may have an urge to exploit this soft spot. Don’t think about any favor. This means that there is no preferential treatment for you. Do not use your office relationship with your senior to enjoy special benefits or to pamper your lazy instincts. Instead, you must try and perform better at your workplace so that no one gets a chance to point fingers at you or your lover.
Use moral support in order to get encouragement and to perform commendably. Keep improving yourself and impress your beloved by getting things done better than what he expects. This will make your boss feel better as well as it will ensure that there is no criticism from other employees.
It is always a great idea to make sure your relationship doesn’t hinder your work performance. This is even more important if you are thinking of it as a long-term bond.
6. STAY LEVEL HEADED:
Just because you are dating your boss does not mean you are any superior. You need to understand this simple fact and act accordingly. Do not show off in front of your colleagues for any special treatment that you get. Your relationship may not last for eternity but your attitude will decide your career and future in the organisation. So you need to have your head over your heart at all times.
7. MAINTAIN A BALANCE:
Don’t mix your personal and professional life. You might be date your boss, but that’s no excuse to take undue advantage of your relationship status and use it at your office.
Don’t display emotions in the office when you are paid to work. You need to be devoted to the employment that has helped you achieve your goals. One relationship should not change your attitude towards the job.
8. GIVE IMPORTANCE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT AFFECTING WORK:
Most often it is very difficult to maintain a strong bond with your boss romantically when you are also working with him professionally. The balance needs to be maintained between your professional and personal life and this can happen only when you are serious about your life.
When you are out of office with your boss, try to understand his feelings and emotions. Try to get close to him emotionally and understand his worries. Try to set personal goals for the long term without affecting your professional life. When the love life matters to you that much, you may even willingly quit your job or change the workplace to maintain the balance.
9. AVOID USING THE FIRM’S MONEY FOR YOUR OWN NEEDS:
When you date your boss, you have every chance to exploit official trips for personal needs while your firm spends for the same. Yet, to avoid future problems, you must avoid such official trips with each other.
You never know how your colleagues and co-workers will react to diverse situations. Anything can be regarded as lame excuses to be together. So never give onlookers such excuses.
10. OVERTIME ONLY IF PROFESSIONALLY REQUIRED:
Do not while away extra time at office just because your boss is working late. A wise professional would select dates outside work schedule to date his boss. You also need to make sure that your date makes other employees stay back late just like he makes you overwork. This will prevent gossip mongers from creating unwanted stories.
11. STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN:
Yes, you may have deep respect for your boss. And you may even feel lucky to be the one picked out from the entire group. However, don’t allow admiration and reverence hinder you from taking a stand on your personal life or your core principles.
Just because of date your manager doesn’t mean you need to do everything according to his or her wishes, even in your personal life. If you provide your boss this allowance, he or she will certainly end up using you or dominating all over with his or her expectations and demands.
12. TREAT YOURSELF AS AN EQUAL:
Though it may seem tricky, separate your professional and personal relationship with the person. Within the office, yes, you will be the subordinate. But outside of work, feel like an equal and make sure that your boss treats you in the same manner. If you ever feel insulted in the relationship outside of work, talk about it with the person.
13. OFFICE GOSSIP:
People love gossiping at work. Anything interesting is definitely worth talking about. Once a rumor spreads that you date your boss, you will be less known as an employee and more as a person who has been dating his boss. So be cautious to avoid such gossips.